Her Life with Boobs Questionnaire
We would love to hear your thoughts on Boobs. Here are a few questions to think about. Answer all of them or only one. We want to know what you think. Please send your responses to herlifewithboobs@gmail.com
1. When did you first start to notice your boobs? How old were you? Had your mother or father or someone other than yourself already noticed that you were developing? Did someone else point it out?
2. Were you excited to be developing breasts? Did you see it as a hindrance? When did you first wear a bra? Were you excited about the bra? Did boys snap your bra strap and then run off?
3. Were you self-conscious about the size of your boobs, and if so did this self-consciousness affect your behavior?
4. When you see women with huge boobs, breast implants, anything like that what is your first response?
5. Have you ever thought about breast reduction surgery? Breast Augmentation?
6. What are your thoughts on bras? Do you feel good or bad without one? Do you feel compelled to wear one?
7. Have your boobs ever gotten in the way of your enjoyment of a situation?
8. What do you think about this new cultural thing of big, high, silicone boobs? How do you think the images of “normalcy” of these “fixed” boobs affects the way women see their own boobs?
8. Do you have any specific examples or stories of your boobs causing you trouble, getting you into trouble? Do you have any examples of people feeling free to make judgments based on your boobs? Have people ever spoken out of turn about your boobs?
9. How would you talk to your daughter about boobs if you could see that she too was going to be “blessed”, and how would this talk differ if you could see that your daughter would be “flat-as-a-pancake?”
9. Are there any terms you just hate (I hate jugs) and why?
I can’t remember not having boobs. Seriously, I was what you would call an “early bloomer” only instead of blooming flowers, I got cantaloupes (coincidentally, I hate the term “melons!”)
I wore a very tight “D” cup in the fifth (yes 5) grade the year before? Maybe a “B”. I can recall getting in trouble at school all the time for answering the popular question that boys always asked “What size bra do you wear” honestly. Apparently we were supposed to run away/be embarrassed/blush!?! I got sent to the principal’s office for quite frankly stating “36D.” I still think that’s screwed up, even then they all wanted me to be ashamed? I guess it took me a few more year to figure that out.
Its seems most of my life, others have been way more obsessed with my boobs than I, but in the early days I was told that they were the “only thing a ‘fat’ girl’s got to offer”…yikes. My mom got me my first bra after she saw me stepping out of the shower in the fourth grade–straight to the women’s dept the next day– I had never been in women’s lingerie. What a strange place, we got to ride the escalator up to the second floor where they hide the underwear.
After struggling with an eating disorder from almost a decade, I have a tentative relationship with my boobs. They (and my thighs) were the first real sighs of both the “recovery” and the “war”. Two years (mostly) of recovery and an extra forty or so lbs later, they have returned to their fifth grade size. They attract as much attention now as they did then, but as an adult I am better equipped to deal with it and I think at my age now they aren’t as “shocking”.
I might be a pacifist but if I had a weapon of mass destruction I think I would nuke right off the map the creeps that think because a girl has 36D boobs at 13 it therefore means she’s “fair game” for their predatory sexual advances. I hope if I ever have a daughter, she doesn’t take after me….I am not sure what I will do if she does, or what advice I would offer?
Hi Katie–I think you bring up an interesting point. I had an eating disorder too, and I have always thought it was in part a way for me to get rid of my boobs. I hated them so much when I was a kid. I never understand the whole “stuffing” the bra thing–mine was already stuffed.
Your story about getting in trouble for stating your bra size is shocking and unfortunately believable. It is that way with women’s bodies. There is nothing indecent about a bra size, and still it was interpreted that way because of outdated modes of modesty. Those modes, of course, do not apply to men or boys who never have to worry about squeezing between people without rubbing their boobs on someone and being mistaken for “wanting” some or for being fat! Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions!–Bridgett
Eh, I’m not shy. I’ll post my answers here.
1. When did you first start to notice your boobs? How old were you? Had your mother or father or someone other than yourself already noticed that you were developing? Did someone else point it out?
I’m not entirely sure when I noticed. Sometime around 5th or 6th grade, I guess. By 7th I was wearing a size D, so I know I knew before then.
2. Were you excited to be developing breasts? Did you see it as a hindrance? When did you first wear a bra? Were you excited about the bra? Did boys snap your bra strap and then run off?
Honestly, they were annoying as heck. I was kinda young. (When I moved out after college, there were training bras that probably dated to 4th or 5th grade… then they skipped straight up to D and DD). My bra strap never actually got snapped, but I think a guy tried once… and missed the strap.
3. Were you self-conscious about the size of your boobs, and if so did this self-consciousness affect your behavior?
I was self conscious about them, but then, until college, I was self conscious about EVERYTHING. Heck, in high school, I became proud of being the girl at school with probably the biggest boobs, even though I didn’t ever show them off
4. When you see women with huge boobs, breast implants, anything like that what is your first response?
Honestly, mine are so big, so unless they seem to totally overbalance their body, or they are wearing something ridiculously low cut, I don’t really notice. Even then, I mostly wish, if they’re wearing something low cut, is jealousy. I can’t… cause if I did, I’d be showing off WAY too much.
5. Have you ever thought about breast reduction surgery? Breast Augmentation?
I have thought of breast reduction surgery. In high school, I got some pretty bad backaches, and I wasn’t sure if they were related to my boobs or my backpack. Even now, I wonder if it would be a good idea, medically. *shrug* I’ve never thought about it for an aesthetic reason, though.
6. What are your thoughts on bras? Do you feel good or bad without one? Do you feel compelled to wear one?
I NEED a bra. It hurts without one. At an H cup, if I didn’t, not only would it hurt, my boobs would be hanging down somewhat ridiculously. But mostly, I need to because if I sit/stand without one for too long, it hurts.
7. Have your boobs ever gotten in the way of your enjoyment of a situation?
I can’t think of a time they got in the way of my enjoyment of anything.
8. What do you think about this new cultural thing of big, high, silicone boobs? How do you think the images of “normalcy” of these “fixed” boobs affects the way women see their own boobs?
Honestly… I haven’t paid much attention. My fiance likes my boobs, I like my boobs, and I’ve never really cared what anyone else thinks. (Although I strongly suspect my fiance would like my boobs no matter what)
8. Do you have any specific examples or stories of your boobs causing you trouble, getting you into trouble? Do you have any examples of people feeling free to make judgments based on your boobs? Have people ever spoken out of turn about your boobs?
I can’t think of any judgments, but then, I’m also fat. It tends to reduce the issues from the big boobs, though it causes issues of its own.
9. How would you talk to your daughter about boobs if you could see that she too was going to be “blessed”, and how would this talk differ if you could see that your daughter would be “flat-as-a-pancake?”
Honestly, it would be the same. “They’re a part of your body, and perfect however they are.” I might mention social pressure in different ways, but that would still come up, too. Both “blessed” and “flat-as-a-pancake” women get it from society, so both need it talked about
9. Are there any terms you just hate (I hate jugs) and why?
I can’t think of any terms I’ve heard that I hate (no one I know has used “jugs”, which I don’t think I’d like). I call them all sorts of things myself, depending on my mood.
Thanks for replying here! Your comments are great! More later!!!
I hope small breasted women speak up as well!
1. When did you first start to notice your boobs? How old were you? Had your mother or father or someone other than yourself already noticed that you were developing? Did someone else point it out?
I guess I was someone who more noticed the absence of boobs than their appearance. I remember being about 6th grade by the time my mom suggested that maybe I needed a bra.
2. Were you excited to be developing breasts? Did you see it as a hindrance? When did you first wear a bra? Were you excited about the bra? Did boys snap your bra strap and then run off?
I was disappointed because they weren’t very big, about an A, and I was a chubby kid. I wore Mickey Mouse training bra. I wore sports bras until I was 17. No one snapped by strap.
3. Were you self-conscious about the size of your boobs, and if so did this self-consciousness affect your behavior?
YES! I always wished they were bigger and thought that somehow my mom had failed me. She was about a D and my sister grew up and is a D as well. My aunts are all large breasted as well. I always felt out of place, that my body just wasn’t in proportion. Big hips and small boobs.
4. When you see women with huge boobs, breast implants, anything like that what is your first response?
Slight jealously, I wish I was more proportional.
5. Have you ever thought about breast reduction surgery? Breast Augmentation?
Yeah I’ve thought about it, but it’s too expensive and I don’t want surgical complications.
6. What are your thoughts on bras? Do you feel good or bad without one? Do you feel compelled to wear one?
I have cone shapped boobs so I like that bras kinda round them out. However it’s really really difficult for me to find the right size so I just live with ill fitting bras for now.
7. Have your boobs ever gotten in the way of your enjoyment of a situation?
Nope not that I can think of.
8. What do you think about this new cultural thing of big, high, silicone boobs? How do you think the images of “normalcy” of these “fixed” boobs affects the way women see their own boobs?
It definitely negatively affects girls, I’m an example of that. 24 and still trying to come to terms with my 38/40B’s.
8. Do you have any specific examples or stories of your boobs causing you trouble, getting you into trouble? Do you have any examples of people feeling free to make judgments based on your boobs? Have people ever spoken out of turn about your boobs?
Larger breasted girls sometimes tell me how they would love to have my smaller boobs because they won’t sag or look wrinkly. Guys sometimes say that they’re “cute”.
9. How would you talk to your daughter about boobs if you could see that she too was going to be “blessed”, and how would this talk differ if you could see that your daughter would be “flat-as-a-pancake?”
I would tell her that it’s going to be ok, that your body isn’t something you can control. I could totally sympathize with her being smaller, as I am as well. “Blessed” would be something difficult for me, but I’d try to be supportive and listen.
9. Are there any terms you just hate (I hate jugs) and why?
Melons….
roxy
I hate melons too.
I am so glad to get your responses. As a woman who grew up with big boobs, I always felt so envious of small-breasted girls. I would have never even considered that that in itself was an issue. I think the thing that galls me the most about all of it–the idea that size matters either way–is that women are constantly trying to fit some cultural “norm” which isn’t a “norm” at all but rather whatever the powers-that-be (magazine editors, fashion designers, pornographers) deem attractive.
Thanks so much for your comments!!!
The hardest part was not being “wanted” because I didn’t have big boobs. I was the smart one all the way to college. I guess I was always resentful of girls with bigger boobs even with C cup.
I noticed you left out any mention of nipple… any particular reason? I have itty bitty nipples too.
I didn’t leave them out on purpose. Interesting though that I did. Probably because talking about nipples seems illicit. Wow.
Weird for sure since they are a part of boobs (don’t forget the aureole either!).
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5. Have you ever thought about breast reduction surgery? Breast Augmentation? I thought about breast augmentation, but I don’t want to give up enjoying it when a guy touches my breasts just so I can look better for him. I mean, why should my tactile pleasure be sacrificed for men’s aesthetic pleasure? It’s bullcrap.
6. What are your thoughts on bras? Do you feel good or bad without one? Do you feel compelled to wear one? If I didn’t wear bras, I’d look COMPLETELY flat.
7. Have your boobs ever gotten in the way of your enjoyment of a situation? No. Wait, actually, once I’d stuffed my bra and I was hooking up with a guy I met that I thought was hot. And he went to feel me up and I had to stop him because I didn’t want him to feel the falsies.
I was ecstatic when I found this website. I have always had a love hate relationship with my breasts. Being a larger women for my entire life, I always second guessed the male attention I have gotten since middle school.
While I have toyed with the idea of getting a breast reduction, I could never do it. Even though I hate my breasts most of the time, they are a part of me. I have to just tell myself that the breasts on tv are not real and even though my DDD’s are not perky and symmetrical, they are mine. To lose them would be like losing a childhood dog, most of the time she was nice, but occasionally nipped you.
I was always singled out because of my breasts. There are four situations that really stick out on my mind, and they all are related to my body issues…
1) All through out high school, I would be cat- called by the boys in the hall way. On
(a more regular than i would like to admit) occasion, i would be fondled, groped or pinched. I didn’t feel like I could go to school with out being sexually harassed. To add insult to injury, other girls were mean to me because of this unwanted attention. The guy friends who didn’t sexually objectify me (at the time) would stand by and think my uneasiness was funny.
2) The boy I had a crush on in 10th grade had told me that I had some of the best breasts in the school, I didn’t know how to take this, should I accept it as a compliment or as disrespectful. At the time I figured, I may not be the smartest or the prettiest girl in the school, so I guess that’s worth something, they are me. I wound up having less than monogamous sex with this guy for much longer than anyone would willingly admit to. He had his cake and got to eat it too.
3) I was an athlete in high school and my breasts did get in my way all the time. But one incident stuck out in my mind. It was freshman year and one day I forgot a sports bra. This was not alright because we ran, a lot. My friend who would later come out of the closet, declared to the boys team, everyone, Bonnie forget her sports bra, don’t miss it when she comes by. I was mortified.
4) My last breast story is the most traumatic and is actually the reason I am in therapy. During my freshman year in college, I went to a party and drank a few glasses of wine. Apparently, wine wasn’t the only thing in one of those red solo cups, and I found myself awake but unable to move. When I can to, there was a man with his hand in my shirt. I thanked my lucky stars, I was able to regain function of my body sooner rather than later and I ran home that night. I thought for the longest time that since “it was just my boobs” it wasn’t an assault and I felt guilty about feeling like a victim. I now realize it was. Had I not been a larger girl, I probably would have been raped. For that, I have a little more incentive to love my body.
I feel that talking honestly about my breasts with other women is a wonderful thing. I feel they [my breasts] deserve better than the negative attention they have gotten in the past. Thanks you for making a forum.
Thank you so much for your honest responses. I am struck by your fourth story because of the way we have been taught to view our breasts. In one column, we are supposed to keep them covered up, tamed, etc. And on the other hand, we are supposed to expect the sort of assault you experienced by downplaying it because it happened because of our chests.
I remember in grade school, how it was just expected that boys would snap our bras, and we were just supposed to run away and giggle. I still can’t believe that we were led to believe that it was just “boy” behavior.
Hi,
Gals from some mailinglist I’m in encouraged me to answer those. Which means they offered to send me a book.
I’m french, so some answers (about vocabulary and things) would be french too.
1. When did you first start to notice your boobs? How old were you? Had your mother or father or someone other than yourself already noticed that you were developing? Did someone else point it out?
I don’t really understand that question.
Do you ask about Tanner 1 phase boobs, or, hum… Yeah, I really don’t get.
In fact this question is embarrassing. Yes, my mother did notice (gotta hate that), some other people from my family as well, a “friend”.
2. Were you excited to be developing breasts? Did you see it as a hindrance? When did you first wear a bra? Were you excited about the bra? Did boys snap your bra strap and then run off?
I was ashamed. I guess I would have been less if I knew people (ie, people of my class) wouldn’t notice the change, or if I was sure they wouldn’t tell. Like when you suddenly have a good grade in a class you’re bad, or a bad in a class you commonly do great.
I also didn’t liked some girls told me I had no breasts, or asked if I had.
I first wore a bra at late 12 or 13, my mother forced me to. I hated that. It was itchy. It hurted. Now they still fits me and are my favorites because they are not so itchy and I like their lack of colors.
3. Were you self-conscious about the size of your boobs, and if so did this self-consciousness affect your behavior?
No. I just didn’t want to have boobs. But now if they were even a little bigger I would hate that.
4. When you see women with huge boobs, breast implants, anything like that what is your first response?
As a lesbian, my first response depends on if I’m sexually attracted to this person.
As a boobies-wearer, I don’t have any response.
Oh, I’ve one: one day I saw on a reportage that a woman was saved by her breast implants from one of those unicorns-like fishes. Also, I read breast implants may explode when you’re on a plane, due to pressure or something like that.
5. Have you ever thought about breast reduction surgery? Breast Augmentation?
Yeah. That or suppressing my boobs.
6. What are your thoughts on bras? Do you feel good or bad without one? Do you feel compelled to wear one?
I like some. Depends on the bras. I think some looks good. Esthetics thoughts.
I feel nothing without one. Sometimes it help me to have a good posture, but I could use a corset or something for that.
7. Have your boobs ever gotten in the way of your enjoyment of a situation?
8. What do you think about this new cultural thing of big, high, silicone boobs? How do you think the images of “normalcy” of these “fixed” boobs affects the way women see their own boobs?
I think it’s fugly. I don’t know. That’s like that tanned thing: I like pale skinned blondes, so I don’t get that one would want to be tanned, and then post a photo of a toaster-tanned person and say she want to be just like her. That’s strange. Maybe some are like that and want obus-like boobs, but wouldn’t if they didn’t have hints for it.
8. Do you have any specific examples or stories of your boobs causing you trouble, getting you into trouble? Do you have any examples of people feeling free to make judgments based on your boobs? Have people ever spoken out of turn about your boobs?
Yeah. I don’t want to talk about that, but basically that’s people of all sort, people of the school I was, random asshole dudes in the streets (+12 assholness if they are in a running car and screaming embarrassing things), family.
I guess it depends on what you call judgements.
An interesting thing: there was that bully person one day. She bullied little kiddies, and I interposed myself, and she told me off saying I could told her off if I had boobs (note that I was like 10-yrs-old then), thing like that. Of course I didn’t shut up, I even looked her in the eyes just for the sake of bothering although I hate looking people in the eyes! Take that!
9. How would you talk to your daughter about boobs if you could see that she too was going to be “blessed”, and how would this talk differ if you could see that your daughter would be “flat-as-a-pancake?”
I think I would just give her a book on boobs, or lot of books on boobs, and sociology things and all. Or we’d watch a documentary if she didn’t like reading. If she’d be blind I think I could try to talk about that, or I’ll read her a book.
I’m not good at those talking things and I don’t know about what she could be concerned by her boobs? I think I’d just wait for her to talk to me. Of course, she won’t be encouraged to as I’m not a talkative person.
9. Are there any terms you just hate (I hate jugs) and why? “Doudoune”, all the cute-ass things. It’s insulting.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have answered Height that way. I hope nobody felt insulted. Not all big, high boobs are “fugly”. Some are beautiful (I don’t say that like it was a thing to be surprised of).
It’s just the image of early-Lara Croft with geometrical boobs that popped in my head that I thought ugly. Can you put that explanation at the beginning of my first message? Thanks.
1. When did you first start to notice your boobs? How old were you? Had your mother or father or someone other than yourself already noticed that you were developing? Did someone else point it out?
A. I began to notice my nipples getting puffy a few months after my 11th birthday and by the time I was 12 I had little bumps which were visible if I wore a tight T shirt (which wasn’t often). I didn’t think anyone else had noticed, but mum obviously had (see 2 below)
2. Were you excited to be developing breasts? Did you see it as a hindrance? When did you first wear a bra? Were you excited about the bra? Did boys snap your bra strap and then run off?
A) I was embarrased about the whole ‘growing up’ thing and tried to ignore my developing breasts.
I hadn’t even thought about wearing a bra when mum bought me a couple as a 12th birthday present, saying something like “I thought you might be ready for these”. I tried one on but hated the way it felt and looked and refused to wear it for several months.
As I was at an all girls school by then I didn’t really have any trouble with boys, unlike a few of my classmates who had developed while we were still ata mixed primary school.
3. Were you self-conscious about the size of your boobs, and if so did this self-consciousness affect your behavior?
A. As my bumps continued to grow, I became more self concious about them and tried to dress to hide them. During the summer holidays between 7th and 8th grade, I would sometimes even wear one of my old flat bikini tops under my vest and T shirt to try to flatten them down.
When I went back to school in grade 8 I reluctantly had to agree with mum that it was time to start wearing the bras, bouncing around without one in pe was no longer an option.
4. When you see women with huge boobs, breast implants, anything like that what is your first response?
A Do men really like boobs that look like footballs?
5. Have you ever thought about breast reduction surgery? Breast Augmentation?
A No
6. What are your thoughts on bras? Do you feel good or bad without one? Do you feel compelled to wear one?
A As I’ve got older I wear them less and less. When I was married I hardly ever went out of the house without one, but nowadays only really wear one when I’m exercising. At work I tend to wear a Sloggi top rather than a bra.
7. Have your boobs ever gotten in the way of your enjoyment of a situation?
A Not that I can think of?
8. What do you think about this new cultural thing of big, high, silicone boobs? How do you think the images of “normalcy” of these “fixed” boobs affects the way women see their own boobs?
A I think it has a negative effect, making ‘normal’ women feel inadequate in many cases.
8. Do you have any specific examples or stories of your boobs causing you trouble, getting you into trouble? Do you have any examples of people feeling free to make judgments based on your boobs? Have people ever spoken out of turn about your boobs?
A I hated felt such a failure when I wasn’t able to breast feed my son. He just wasn’t getting enough milk.
9. How would you talk to your daughter about boobs if you could see that she too was going to be “blessed”, and how would this talk differ if you could see that your daughter would be “flat-as-a-pancake?”
A I can’t really answer this as I don’t have a daughter, but hopefully I would get her to accept her body as it is and not yearn for something different.
9. Are there any terms you just hate (I hate jugs) and why?